Hopefully your important documents are current, and you have made sure that your health care proxy, power of attorney, and will are up to date, including integrating information about your digital assets. But, for the most part, these documents do not communicate your values, experiences and life lessons.

As we age, the desire to reflect on our lives and the legacy we leave behind becomes more intense. Legacy isn’t just about financial inheritance or property; it encompasses our values, memories, and contributions that continue to impact others after we are gone. Defining your legacy is a deeply personal process that involves reflection and thoughtful actions. By embracing this journey, you can find purpose and leave a meaningful mark on your loved ones and our wonderful Falmouth community.

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others. — Pericles

Creating a Legacy Statement

Your legacy statement, sometimes known as an ethical will, is a written, audio, or video record of what you would like to pass on to the next generation. It is an account of the things that made a difference in your life, the lessons you learned and the principles you cherish most. In Massachusetts, a legacy statement is non-binding and different from your legally-binding will that distributes your material and financial possessions.

Here are some compelling reasons to write a legacy statement:

• Get Clear on What Matters: Writing a legacy statement helps you figure out the values and beliefs that have guided your life and helps identify what you value most and what you stand for.

• Tell Your Story: Share the highs, lows, and lessons you’ve learned so future generations can know the real you. If you don’t tell your stories and the stories from your parents and grandparents, no one else will and they will be lost forever.

• Bring Your Family Closer: Sharing your thoughts and memories can spark meaningful conversations and strengthen family bonds.

• Inspire the Next Generation: Show your kids, grandkids, or even friends what’s possible by sharing your journey and what you’ve overcome. Let people know what dreams you have for them and the world.

• Celebrate What You’ve Done: Take time to reflect on and recognize the things you’re proud of—big or small. Keep your voice and values alive by putting your thoughts out there for others to learn from.

• Learn More About Yourself: You might be surprised by what you discover when you reflect on your life and experiences. It may help you come to terms with your own mortality by creating something of meaning that will live on after you are gone.

• Create Something Meaningful: It’s a chance to leave behind a personal message that really captures who you are and what you stand for. And it leaves your heirs something more valuable than your estate: your love!

Writing Your Own Obituary: A Powerful Exercise in Legacy-Building

A unique and empowering way to define your legacy is by writing your own obituary. While it may seem unconventional or even uncomfortable, this exercise can provide clarity and inspiration for how you want to live the rest of your life.

As part of updating my late-in-life paperwork, I started and stopped (several times!) writing my obituary. I downloaded templates and examples, and scrutinized the obituary page in the Enterprise, but continued to procrastinate. Several months ago I got a nasty case of COVID and my wife urged (actually insisted) that I finish the document so my published obituary would not end up as a few paragraphs filled with cliches such as “he was a loving husband, son and father…” or “he always tried to help others and aimed to make Falmouth and the world a better place".

Writing my obituary turned out to be an interesting and important exercise. It forced me to look back over my life and decide what I wanted to share with the public when I die; it has formed the basis for my legacy statement; and, piqued my interest in writing a memoir. My son’s reaction when I shared my obituary with him was “Wow, lots of stuff I didn’t know. Hopefully it will be a long time before we have to fill in the dates” — sharing more family history and stories followed.

How to Write a Meaningful Obituary

Writing your own obituary gives you greater control and ensures that your story is told accurately and authentically. Your obituary does not have to be solemn or traditional. Infuse it with your unique personality and voice. Humor, anecdotes, and heartfelt messages can make it a true reflection of who you are.

• Start with the Basics: Include your full name, date and place of birth, and key life events.

• Highlight Achievements: Share your professional accomplishments, community involvement, and personal milestones.

• Capture Relationships: Mention the people who were most important to you and the roles you cherished (e.g., parent, friend, mentor).

• Express Values and Passions: Include the causes, hobbies, and beliefs that defined your life.

• Share Life Lessons: Offer wisdom or insights that you want to pass down to future generations.

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. — Clarence Darrow

For more information about defining your legacy and creating a legacy statement visit the Defining Your Legacy section on the Neighborhood Falmouth website. You will be able to access tools to help you create your legacy statement, including a 10-page guide.