Last week while driving to Main Street in Falmouth I was listening to one of my favorite folk music playlists on Apple Music. Bette Midler’s version of John Prine’s beautiful and sad song "Hello in There" was playing. The lyrics deal with themes of loneliness and isolation as a result of growing old:

You know that old trees just grow stronger

And old rivers grow wilder every day

But old people, they just grow lonesome

Waiting for someone to say

Hello in there. Hello

The Loneliness Epidemic

In a report issued in May 2023 - Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation - Dr. Vivek Murthy, the United States Surgeon General, declared that "Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation has been an underappreciated public health crisis that has harmed individual and societal health. Our relationships are a source of healing and well-being hiding in plain sight – one that can help us live healthier, more fulfilled, and more productive lives."

Dr. Murthy notes that loneliness can have a profound effect on mental health as well as increasing the risk of heart disease, stroke and dementia. In fact, the lack of social connection can increase the risk for premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.

The full report is available here. 

Why Older Adults Get Lonely

Older adults are at increased risk for loneliness and social isolation; the reasons are complicated and certainly vary among individuals. However, there are some common issues that increase the risk of isolation and loneliness as we age:

• Loss of Family and Friends: Social connections are vital for our well being and the older we get the more likely we are to lose loved ones- our partners, our siblings and our close friends.

• Decreased Mobility: As we age we may find it difficult to connect with other people due to health problems, such as arthritis, poor balance, sensory impairment (hearing and visual loss), and cognitive decline.

• Giving Up the Car Keys: When we no longer are able to drive it may be difficult accessing transportation for medical appointments, errands, and socializing.

• Being a Caretaker: Caring for a spouse or another important person in your life can be overwhelming both physically and emotionally.

• Family Separation: Being alone due the loss of a spouse or partner, and family members moving a long distance away is significant cause of loneliness at any age.

• Societal Barriers: Ageism and the lack of opportunities for older adults to be productive can contribute to a feeling of loss of purpose. This can be exacerbated by retirement and the loss of work colleagues.

• Discrimination: based on age, racial, ethnic, sexual orientation, or gender identity

Feeling Lonely Is Bad for Your Health

In 2020, the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine published a report on Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults that details the impact of loneliness and social isolation on the health of older adults. Key findings include:

• Social isolation has been associated with a significantly increased risk of premature mortality from all causes; a risk that may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity.

• Social isolation has been associated with an approximately 50% increased risk of developing dementia.

• Loneliness among heart failure patients has been associated with a nearly four times increased risk of death, 68% increased risk of hospitalization, and 57% increased risk of emergency department visits

• Poor social relationships (characterized by social isolation or loneliness) have been associated with a 29% increased risk of coronary heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke.

• Loneliness was associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide.

The full report can be accessed here.

Who’s Lonely in Falmouth?

It’s hard to imagine that anyone who lives in Falmouth can feel lonely during the height of the tourist season. Being surrounded by hordes of people enjoying our beaches, shops and restaurants may fill the coffers but most likely does not do anything to make one less lonely.

National surveys suggest that about 40% of adults over age 65 feel lonely. If that figure is applicable to Falmouth more than 4,000 older residents of the town are lonely. We do, however, have a wide-range of organizations, especially the Falmouth Senior Center, Neighborhood Falmouth and many others, that may help to alleviate some of the social isolation and loneliness in our burgeoning population of older adults.

On a personal note, I have felt lonely many times in my life, something I was ashamed to admit when I was younger. Interestingly I still feel lonely in large gatherings; the larger the crowd the larger my sense of not being seen. One of the first steps in combatting loneliness at any stage of life is to address it with family and friends. You might be surprised that you are not alone (pun intended!).

Loneliness in older adults is a complex topic and this article touches on some of the consequences for older adults. Our next article will outline steps one can take to help alleviate loneliness, especially in this wonderful community.

John Prine’s song ends with the following lyrics:

So if you're walking down the street sometime

And you should spot some hollow ancient eyes

Don't you pass them by and stare

As if you didn't care

Say, "Hello in there. Hello